1. Choose to fight. When people are diagnosed with a life-threatening form of cancer, some choose to fight, while others choose to give up. We don't all have to face terminal cancer, yet treat misfortune in life—losing a job, owing money, getting divorced—like it's the end of the world. Maybe you've seen a friend or family member fall apart when faced with hardship. Take the attitude 'That isn't going to happen to me'. The choice is yours. Just remember, there is no good reason to give up.
2. Visualize success. There are no two ways about it: changing your life takes effort. Using imagery can help. Sit down and close your eyes. Visualize what you want to see yourself doing in the future. Thinking about your dreams and aspirations for tomorrow can help to stoke the fire under your motivation today.
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3. Make a list of goals and update it once a month. Start with three specific, clear, short-term measures. Try to exercise three days a week, to lose one pound a week and to cut out one dessert per week. Once you're used to your routine, you can add another goal, such as weight training two days per week. Specific, realistic and limited goals will stop you from becoming overwhelmed.
4. Think of yourself as a person who got divorced, not a divorcee. Or, a person who wants to lose weight, not an overweight person. Instead, if you say, "I'm a person with something", then it is part of your life, not the whole thing.' View your issue as you would being short-sighted. It's a condition you have, but it doesn't define you.
5. Stop dwelling on 'poor me'. Almost everyone has at least one major problem to deal with in life, be it a health problem, a financial challenge or marital difficulties. If you catch yourself feeling sorry for yourself because of yours, remind yourself that no one's life is perfect. Remind yourself of the future you've visualized, and tell yourself that it's up to you to make it happen.
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6. Spend 10 minutes in the morning contemplating the day ahead. Sit with your cup of coffee or tea, and set positive and conscious intentions for the day ahead and what you'll need to do to make sure it happens. When will you fit in your daily walk? If you haven't packed a healthy lunch, what are your arrangements for buying one? If you have a hectic day ahead, think about specific strategies you'll use to help you stay calm, such as deep breathing. Remember that keeping your stress levels in check will help you to manage your life better. You can write down your thoughts and answers, just think about them, or - if you have faith - pray to a higher power to help you to succeed.
7. Get into the habit of giving thanks. Before you get out of bed in the morning, prior to eating a meal and also when you're preparing to go to bed, take a moment to appreciate the things you might take for granted, such as having a home, regular meals, clean water, clothes and friends. Counting your blessings will help you to cultivate a more positive attitude.
8. Say 'no' to your inner skeptic. When a negative thought threatens to drag you into the deep, fight back. If you find yourself thinking that you'll never lose weight or be in love again, tell yourself 'no!' in your firmest, most commanding voice, whether you do it in your head or out loud. Sometimes this is all it takes to stop nagging, negative thoughts from snowballing into a defeatist attitude.
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9. Now think again. Once you've successfully stalled a negative thought, it's time to put something more positive in its place. If you were thinking along the lines of, 'I'll never change', or 'I'll always be unwell', try to be more objective, specific and fair with yourself. For example, "I'm feeling unmotivated right now, maybe I will take a walk to clear my head."
10. Focus on all the reasons why you'll succeed, not the reasons why you'll fail. You're eating better, you've started exercising more, in general, you're a competent person who's succeeded at other things in life. In short, the cards are stacked in favor of you succeeding at what you want to. Focus on these 'success' cards in the pack, not on any perceived 'doomed-to-fail' cards, like your weakness for chocolate cake or past problems with your weight.
11. Keep a positive image, a peace lily or a beautifully shaped stone on your desk. Choose something that, for you, symbolizes positive energy, tranquility or victory, and keep it where you can see it during your day. Maybe your object is a shell from a picturesque beach or a trinket that's a sign of your faith. If you hit a difficult patch in your day, hold, touch or simply look at your object and think about what it means to you.
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12. Put a picture of someone who inspires you on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror. People who were successes despite huge obstacles are great reminders that 'you can do it', no matter what you face. Your hero could be a legendary figure or someone in your own family. You'll get an instant morale boost when you stop to comb your hair or make a meal and you see his or her face.
13. Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to someone else. Many of us are so used to being hard on ourselves that we don't even notice that we're doing it. Would you tell a dear friend that she is ugly and will never be loved? Is it helpful or belittling? If you wouldn't say it to a friend there's a good chance that you're not being fair to yourself or helpful to your cause. Think of what would be helpful and encouraging and use those words with yourself.
