echoes to January 10, 2011

3 days remains,  i'm leaving soon... leave this somewhat called "paradise" island.
listening to babyface music "nobody knows it but me..." lingering in my empty room which left only bed 1 pillow without bed-cover, ( i have laundry it this morning ), cupboard and 1 yellow baggage with small suitcase and my precious laptop along with small green crunch table... pitiful my friend said, but for me...its fine as long there's music still sounding in this room i feel just alright
..
there's alot wandering in my mind right know, ..

how i can live in this island, what brought me here, people i know, company i accomplish to mark myself in it ( literary ) ...... all ups and down...

one thing for sure, i'm moving on...( of course)
before i remember, its "new day, new hope, new dream" for me being here **last year quote**... but wind of change has brought me somewhere else, apparently i didn't stay much longer here. my path of life has turn course, although i admit it was decisive decision that i make encourage by the people surround me and my impatient ( which i failed to overcome this year, stilll -____- )

but the twist is, one day after I sale all my belonging to my friends and coleagues, I have impressive job offer from Australian expat, Law firm  Finlayson.id.au for same position, he call and ask me to meet for interview and see the outcome for this position ....I agreed, ( just to see either the offer of the salaries is adequate or not **yesitsallaboutthemoneyinsomematter**)...but the next days,..I cant meet him because of some circumstance..... ( not my luck, maybe )

I was very sure and firm that my decision is the best to leave the island and move to work in crowded city near my mum ... ( the main reason that I wanna move so i can get close to her and visit her every week), all this I do for her, I wanna bring her to holy island mecca perform the hajj or just umroh...My biggest wishes and hope to see her can perform this soon, all that Hopewell can achieved soon

for the counting days, I meet old acquaintances new friends and reunion with them, enjoy the free time without work and all thing that matter around it..... feel so relieve and blissful

Wish this time around I can be with my mum and enjoy this vacation ... explore this wonderful cozy island, and try to think that this island are best traits that happen with me last years ;)

..... in my idle time, i was thinking " is this best decision' ? the stress is not biggest,  god gave me comfort that make me work in a company barely use my 80% brain function and access Facebook 90 percent of my working hours,...well not most of the time ;) but if I can take it easy I think I'll  be alright ... the only think is I'm stuck and surround by people with negative thinking makes me unease with the situation

for a while, after 3 days i try to text this Man ( the new job offer bali)  and ask if there's still a chance for me to meet him and talk about these position, again he agreed and welcome me to meet him at same time & place....the next days, again....I skip this opportunity.... Im thinking deeply...why I'm hesitate...why i'm oversleep ( which make me late to attend the meeting) at least if I want I can make it right? why I delay and make my self lazy over this.....well I'm over it then, i wont change my mind I must leave ...