carpe...

The scariest part of life isn’t when you slip and fall. It’s not when you realize you are falling with no one to catch you. It’s when you realize you are at your most vulnerable and you are completely and utterly alone.I feel lonely every single day, but I’m too ashamed to admit that to the people who love me.

Loneliness striking more when people come to talk to you, because you’re a good person and a good listener. Though when you have something on your mind that you wish to talk about the room is empty... So you remain on a search for that special person that will hear what you have to say. That is, if it doesn’t become too much from waiting so long.

Realization comes when you’re awake at 4 am and you don’t miss anyone, then you know that you’ve been gone for too long and you just don’t want to. Or that there’s no one really there to miss or think about. And you realize that you haven’t been gone…But just alone for too long. Every time I see a couple holding hands, or just plainly sitting together I look away. It’s not that I hate seeing lovers. But because it reminds me of a question nobody can answer…”Where’s mine?

My biggest fear is that I will become too comfortable with the idea of being lonely for the rest of my life.